The Happy Dance at Work?

Get a GRIP.

You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach during an extremely emotional situation? You know the one, right before the tears well up in your eyes, after you have been passed over for a promotion for the second time? And what about feeling so excited about closing a big account that you want to do the happy dance in the middle of a meeting?  

Have you ever been told that you are too [fill in the blank]? Maybe you’ve been told that you come across as too angry or too excited, too harsh, or too enthusiastic? And sometimes it’s just not the most appropriate time to cry or dance on your desk at work. 

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I gained some insight into maintaining a level head when I had the opportunity to have dinner with William “Bill” Green, the former CEO and chairman of Accenture. Bill shared the leadership qualities he looks for in high performers. These are “character and class” and “touch and tone.” 

Character – Your essential qualities such as competence, confidence, humility, and caring

Class – Your style, distinction, or elegance as in excellence or exceptional  

Touch- How you treat or affect people with feeling or emotion, especially tenderness, pity, and gratitude 

Tone – The style or manner you incite feelings with your writing, speech, attitude, and mood 

He went on to share how he maintains composure during emotionally charged moments at work.

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Based on Bill’s insights, I have developed an idea over time to help you identify and feel your emotions, but not react to them―what I call getting a GRIP. This framework can help you maintain “character and class” and respond with a positive “touch and tone” in any situation.

Get a GRIP. This stands for Ground yourself, then Respond with Intention and Passion. 

G―Ground yourself.  There are many ways to do this, but here are some ideas:

First, identify and acknowledge your feelings. What are you feeling… “rage, horrible, panicked, cheated” or “ecstatic, overjoyed, delighted, thrilled?” 

Second, you can relax by touching your index (pointer) fingertip to the tip of your thumb. Press them together as firmly as needed to feel your emotions begin to dissipate. (Note: I have squeezed my pointer finger and thumb together so tightly that I temporally stopped my circulation!) And if you lay your hand in your lap, no one can see your fingers turning red. 

Third, you can use the box/square breathing technique. My yoga instructor, Briani Claggett, recommends imagining a square while breathing and counting as such: 

• Inhale for a four count (one, two, three, four)
• Hold for a four count
• Exhale for a four count
• Hold for a four count

R―Respond only after you have regained your composure and slowed your breathing. Your response should have two qualities:

I―Intention. Remind yourself how you want to show up in the world and live each day. Intentions can act as a reminder and give you the perspective to respond thoughtfully during an emotionally charged situation. Think about what you want to say, and keep your response concise.

P―Passion.  Your response should authentically communicate your passion. Speak from your heart, your experience, and your expertise. 

Get a GRIP.

One final note―what to do with tears. Here’s a quick tip to stop the tears. If tears are welling up in your eyes, quickly look up. This allows them to pool at the bottom of your eyelids, rather than run down your face. Looking up stops the flow of tears, and helps you move back to the right frame of mind.

Learning how to get a GRIP will allow you to respond authentically, yet with professionalism and energy, even in the most charged situations.

Here’s to selling Mastery. 

-Cherilynn

Head of Education and Growth, Sistas In Sales

Executive Coach/Managing Partner, CGI

Cherilynn Castleman, Executive Coach/Sales Trainer, has been a sales executive for 20+ years. With a natural talent for teaching and a drive to sell, Cherilynn uses her skills to coach and train other executives and sales professionals.

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“I’m trying to find a little joy and happiness, a lot of giggles – and maybe some pretty shoes.” Tracee Ellis Ross

Tracee Ellis Ross is an American actress known for her lead roles in the comedy television series Girlfriends and Black-ish. Tracee is the daughter of actress and recording artist Diana Ross.